Hello again.
First, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who are taking the time to read this. It really means a lot. I would really love to hear everyone's comments, and maybe get some followers going (not in a cult-ish way, but in a blogging way:) ) The feedback is great to have whether it is positive, negative, or ambivalent.
Anyway, this is just a quick post to say that it will probably be a little while until my next post. I underestimated the time it would take to really get my thoughts and information together to get this going. I want to be as accurate as possible.
So, I'll work hard and post again soon:) Until then I'll leave you with this.
“I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering, awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them...”
-Annie Dillard
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Confession
There are certain things I feel I need to articulate. Whether it be for my own personal process of healing and moving on, or for some external reason I’m not sure. Probably a combination of both.
I’ve spent the better part of my life so far trying to come to terms with ideas I’ve had ever since I was about 14 years old. That’s when things started really changing for me. That’s when I started asking my own questions. That’s when I started really thinking for myself (although I admit it has taken years for me to really say with confidence that I am capable of that). That’s when I really started on the path that has led me to where I am today.
And where is that exactly? There is something that very few people know about me. Mostly because I haven’t made it my purpose to publicize it until now. I’ve never felt it was necessary. Maybe I was scared. I know I’ve been scared. It’s also partly because people around me continue to make assumptions about who I am. Something I have ignored for years. But not anymore.
For a long time I called myself an Agnostic. That doesn’t mean I was unsure about what I believe. It doesn’t mean I was lazy and taking the easy way out. Nothing is laid out for you in agnosticism. It is a constant battle to learn and grow and develop your beliefs. It’s about the journey, not the final destination. The best way I can describe it is to say that it’s about constantly getting closer and closer to the truth, all the while knowing that you’ll never quite get there. That may sound frustrating to some. But to me it’s the only thing that makes sense. I believe it was Socrates who said “Wisdom is knowing how little we know.”
The more and more I embraced agnosticism, the more and more I realized that I thought like an atheist. The more I learn about the world around me, the more it makes sense to me that god is an idea created by men to cope with the fear of their own mortality. I’m sure a lot of people think that it must be terrifying living in a world where you don’t know what your purpose in life is or what the “meaning of it all” could possibly be. To me it just means that it’s that much more important to make our time here the best that it can be.
I am tired of being timid. I am tired of being apologetic for who I am and the philosophies I’ve adopted into my life. I am sorry for feeling I need to hide my views and opinions on things so that I don’t offend anyone. I’m beginning to feel that perhaps it’s not my problem that people would feel offended by what I believe. Maybe that is entirely their problem. And maybe I just need to step up and accept it so that others can begin to do the same.
So here it is. I am an atheist. And I am ecstatic about it.
The rest of this blog will consist of what I consider my journey from point A to point B. But that will take a lot more thinking and reading and searching. For now, thanks for reading and I hope you'll come back for the next installment.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." -Carl Sagan
I’ve spent the better part of my life so far trying to come to terms with ideas I’ve had ever since I was about 14 years old. That’s when things started really changing for me. That’s when I started asking my own questions. That’s when I started really thinking for myself (although I admit it has taken years for me to really say with confidence that I am capable of that). That’s when I really started on the path that has led me to where I am today.
And where is that exactly? There is something that very few people know about me. Mostly because I haven’t made it my purpose to publicize it until now. I’ve never felt it was necessary. Maybe I was scared. I know I’ve been scared. It’s also partly because people around me continue to make assumptions about who I am. Something I have ignored for years. But not anymore.
For a long time I called myself an Agnostic. That doesn’t mean I was unsure about what I believe. It doesn’t mean I was lazy and taking the easy way out. Nothing is laid out for you in agnosticism. It is a constant battle to learn and grow and develop your beliefs. It’s about the journey, not the final destination. The best way I can describe it is to say that it’s about constantly getting closer and closer to the truth, all the while knowing that you’ll never quite get there. That may sound frustrating to some. But to me it’s the only thing that makes sense. I believe it was Socrates who said “Wisdom is knowing how little we know.”
The more and more I embraced agnosticism, the more and more I realized that I thought like an atheist. The more I learn about the world around me, the more it makes sense to me that god is an idea created by men to cope with the fear of their own mortality. I’m sure a lot of people think that it must be terrifying living in a world where you don’t know what your purpose in life is or what the “meaning of it all” could possibly be. To me it just means that it’s that much more important to make our time here the best that it can be.
I am tired of being timid. I am tired of being apologetic for who I am and the philosophies I’ve adopted into my life. I am sorry for feeling I need to hide my views and opinions on things so that I don’t offend anyone. I’m beginning to feel that perhaps it’s not my problem that people would feel offended by what I believe. Maybe that is entirely their problem. And maybe I just need to step up and accept it so that others can begin to do the same.
So here it is. I am an atheist. And I am ecstatic about it.
The rest of this blog will consist of what I consider my journey from point A to point B. But that will take a lot more thinking and reading and searching. For now, thanks for reading and I hope you'll come back for the next installment.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." -Carl Sagan
Reasons
I have been extremely hesitant to get this blog up and going for a lot of reasons. Mainly because I know that a lot of people won't like it. Even now I am feeling nervous typing this.
I know that the information I will publish about myself on this blog will come as a shock to most of you. I have been silent about it until now. But I am no longer willing to feel ashamed and scared of who I am. So here we go.
I want to be VERY clear as to why I am doing this. It's extremely important to me that my friends and family understand the journey I have taken from being a part of the LDS church to becoming an Atheist.
I know that the term "atheist" has very negative connotations. I want to convey why that is simply not true. I know it is frightening and repulsive to many people. But I don't want people to judge me simply because I identify myself that way. I want to have discussions about religion and belief systems, instead of just trading insults back and forth. I don't have a problem with people choosing to be religious at all. Why must they have a problem with me choosing not to be?
I have respect and love for every single one of you. I will not condemn you for your beliefs. I will not say anything to try to change your minds. That's not why I'm doing this. I just want you to understand. So give this a chance before you stop reading because I used the word "atheist." It's extremely important to me, and I know that in the long run it will help strengthen our relationships if we can all remain open minded and willing to discuss what lies before us.
"Well before it was used to describe the God-denier, the word "atheist" served to condemn the thinking of the man even marginally liberated from authority and social supervision. In questions of thought and reflection the atheist was a man free in god's eyes and ultimately free to deny god's existence." Michel Onfray
I know that the information I will publish about myself on this blog will come as a shock to most of you. I have been silent about it until now. But I am no longer willing to feel ashamed and scared of who I am. So here we go.
I want to be VERY clear as to why I am doing this. It's extremely important to me that my friends and family understand the journey I have taken from being a part of the LDS church to becoming an Atheist.
I know that the term "atheist" has very negative connotations. I want to convey why that is simply not true. I know it is frightening and repulsive to many people. But I don't want people to judge me simply because I identify myself that way. I want to have discussions about religion and belief systems, instead of just trading insults back and forth. I don't have a problem with people choosing to be religious at all. Why must they have a problem with me choosing not to be?
I have respect and love for every single one of you. I will not condemn you for your beliefs. I will not say anything to try to change your minds. That's not why I'm doing this. I just want you to understand. So give this a chance before you stop reading because I used the word "atheist." It's extremely important to me, and I know that in the long run it will help strengthen our relationships if we can all remain open minded and willing to discuss what lies before us.
"Well before it was used to describe the God-denier, the word "atheist" served to condemn the thinking of the man even marginally liberated from authority and social supervision. In questions of thought and reflection the atheist was a man free in god's eyes and ultimately free to deny god's existence." Michel Onfray
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